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Main >> AR Stories >> "The Christmas Wish"

"The Christmas Wish"
Author: skywavesage
 
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 Reviews
skywavesage - 19 December 2015
Killer77 - Really appreciate your encouragement. Thank you for reading my story!
killer77 - 18 December 2015
wasn't quite what i expected - i thought you'll make danny into a little boy too. but actually this wasn't bad either, I quite liked it, good effort!
Sebtomato - 08 November 2015
Always good to see a writer working hard to set the atmosphere and provide a sense of conflict or urgency early on. One suggestion: t the girlfriend says pretty much the same thing 3 times - it's more than you need, I think the reader will get the message the first time.
skywavesage - 08 November 2015
Killer77 - Thanks for the kind compliments! Hope that my future chapters will not disappoint.
skywavesage - 08 November 2015
Sebtomato - I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughtful feedback. I'm still learning how to use dialog to effectively sketch a character and clearly used too heavy a hand here.
killer77 - 07 November 2015
nice ope
killer77 - 07 November 2015
nice opening! sounds interesting, looking forward to more
skywavesage - 06 November 2015
While AR is the central plot device for this story, it has a broader theme beyond age regression, so I asked some "mainstream" writer friends to help me with my draft, and would like to thank JayZ and GabR in particular for their valuable feedback. Folks outside the AR community pointed out a common challenge with AR writing where the interactions between kid and adult characters can be perceived as icky or inappropriate, and hopefully my attempts to fix that issue in this story were satisfactory. And as always, I'll also like to thank everyone in the community who took the time to share their feedback and suggestions on my draft. Much appreciated ^o^ and happy holidays!



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