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Main >> AR Stories >> 'The Magic Kingdom'

'The Magic Kingdom'
Author: skywavesage
 
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 Reviews
skywavesage - 03 June 2016
I struggled about whether to write the final chapter from Jonathan's or Patrick's point-of-view. The Jonathan perspective was interesting to explore: here is a guy who's never had a father figure in his life before, and is suddenly presented with a mentor/father/boss all rolled into one. But I just couldn't effectively animate the effect I wanted that would blend his adult intellect and child emotional needs - a clear indication that I have much room for improvement on technical skill. So I kinda coped out and wrote it from Patrick's perspective, which was a lot easier. // When fact checking some of the details I was surprised to learn that kids as young as 12yrs can fly unaccompanied on a US commercial airline. Makes me wonder - if yo
skywavesage - 22 May 2016
hi vended, thanks so much for your encouragement :) As you've pointed out before, I tend towards brevity in my writing (due to my limited skill), and so depend on my readers to fill in the blanks. Glad to learn it's working for you so far!
skywavesage - 22 May 2016
Professor, thank you for sharing your thoughtful comment! The short answer to your question is that I tried and failed to make the plot 'work' for a storyline that involved the regression of Devin (Patrick's son). The nub of it was I wanted to drive towards a warm and happy conclusion where both main characters get what they want, and I just couldn't find a convincing reason for Devin to want to be regressed and then raised again by Patrick. So I went for a bit of sleight-of-hand by having Jonathan (who is also a son, just not Patrick's son) as the other main character, and set it up such that each of them have something valuable they can offer the other, details of which I'll cover in the next installment. Really appreciate your thou
vended - 21 May 2016
Very interesting so far. Lots of ellipses but I like it!
skywavesage - 20 May 2016
If you’re unfamiliar, the Disney Imagineers are the folks who design and create Disney’s theme parks. Often considered to be among the most elite teams in Disney, and known by the nickname “the Masterminds of Magic”, joining them is a childhood aspiration of many, including no less a figure than Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon professor who spoke glowingly of his (short) experience with the Imagineers in his Last Lecture (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Lecture), which you can either watch here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo (start at 20:00) or read here https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/Randy/pauschlastlecturetranscript.pdf (bottom paragraph, page 7)
Professor - 20 May 2016
I still like this story but it has taken a turn that I don't quite understand. I admit the turn is interesting but why regress a character who has no family connection with father or son? I can't wait for the next installment.
skywavesage - 14 May 2016
Hello Professor, thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts! I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far, and greatly appreciate your encouragement ^0^
Professor - 10 May 2016
Once again a good beginning. You have created a real cliff hanger. I look forward to the next installment. Keep up the good work.
skywavesage - 06 May 2016
hi there Professor, thank you for your kind compliment, and really appreciate your feedback! I failed to include the boy's name in the first chapter because my intention was to focus on the father character, and introduce the son later. As the story continues, I think it will be become clear why the son is not named at the beginning :)
skywavesage - 06 May 2016
If you were expecting swords and sorcery in this story, I'm sorry to share that the title of this story is a direct reference to the Disney theme park. While it's fashionable among some circles to bash Disney for the "industrialization" of childhood etc. many of my fondest childhood memories came from visits to Disney parks, and this story is my (albeit weird) way of thanking all those men and women who work so hard behind the scenes to make the magic happen ^0^
Professor - 25 April 2016
I liked this story but with some reservations. I especially liked the concise way the author set the scene. However, there was a significant omission the son's name. It seems to me that the boy's name should have been worked into the first chapter somewhere. I hope the writer will finish the story.
vended - 23 April 2016
Nothing wrong with the writting, but it's damn short!
skywavesage - 23 April 2016
Hello vended, thanks for your feedback! I publish my stories in short chunks to allow me to adjust the plot's direction along the way based on audience feedback. In any case, I haven't quite figured out where I'm going to take this story yet, any thoughts would be greatly appreciated ^0^
skywavesage - 22 April 2016
This is my first attempt working with a character in his 50s/60s. I found it particularly challenging because I'm quite far from that age myself and so had to rely on observations of older family members and friends. Hopefully I was able to create a believable representation, as well as effectively pencil out his angst + loneliness. I'll like to thank everyone who helped review my draft and shared feedback + advice. Much appreciated :)



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