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Main >> AR Stories >> 'A Forgetful Day'

'A Forgetful Day'
Author: skywavesage
 
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 Reviews
skywavesage - 05 March 2017
Really appreciate your support and generous compliments, vended. I'm glad you enjoyed my story ^0^
skywavesage - 03 March 2017
I was conflicted about how to end this story. My conundrum was that many people consider inflicting mental AR + total memory loss on a character to be tantamount to murder, and yet the plot doesn’t quite work if the protagonist remains lucid about his past. In the end I chose to leave it ambiguous. The final physical age of the protagonist, as suggested by his upcoming modeling stint, is about 2 - 3 years old, so he’s not headed for drooling infanthood. He also appears to retain his old habits & interests, as well as occasionally crystallize past memories. Thus I think I’ve left enough leeway to accommodate audience members who cringe at the killing of innocents, since the character is not “slain” but “adapted” to his new age,
skywavesage - 03 March 2017
... , plus the plot still manages to creak towards a believable closure. Hopefully that worked ^^;
vended - 03 March 2017
Worked very well. ;) Although the best part of the story wasn't the way it got closure but how you described his childish action and inner thinking throughout the chapters. The last one in particular felt really realistic. Keep the great work!
skywavesage - 19 February 2017
glad you're enjoying it, killer77 ^^
skywavesage - 19 February 2017
Thanks, vended. The last chapter is actually causing me some trouble. Not planning any twists, but rather to bring closure to the hints you picked up in the first chapter. My goal is to take it to a (somewhat) peaceful landing and avoid being too sinister or jarring...
killer77 - 18 February 2017
lovin it, is great so far!
vended - 18 February 2017
Nicely done. I wonder where this will take us, if you're planning some twist for us readers or a more peaceful plotline.
skywavesage - 17 February 2017
In Chapter 2 (Afternoon), I tried to signpost the changing age of the protagonist by using height comparisons with the characters he encounters, as well as the fit (or lack thereof) of his clothing. The intention was for him to glide from college age to about second grade (~8yrs) or so – hopefully that came thru okay.
skywavesage - 17 February 2017
A side theme I explored briefly in Chapter 2 was how kids are often denied access to certain technologies that adults take for granted. In this chapter I used the public library as an example, where (in the US at least) there’s typically a bank of computers for general access, and a separate section of PCs in the children’s section that are “locked down” to a handful of inane games (Spot the Dog!) plus a child-proofed browser that can only access “appropriate” sites like PBS Kids. But libraries are a niche example, there are broader societal restrictions, a significant one being smartphones. I’m sketching out the contours of a longer story that uses that as one of the key plot elements, and also revives the original core idea
skywavesage - 17 February 2017
I had for Madison Springs but subsequently abandoned (because I couldn’t make it work). Hopefully I’ll be able to get it done sometime this year…
skywavesage - 05 February 2017
Hello vended, thank you very much for the compliments and encouragement ^^ I agree with you about not devolving his vocab too much so we don't end up losing the audience. Was thinking of an effect somewhere in the grain of TabulaRasa's "Vacation" (http://www.ararchive.com/index.php?option=com_ewriting&Itemid=7&func=storyinfo&story=567) where the protagonist retains apparent control & agency, but has the vague awareness that something's afoot ;)
vended - 05 February 2017
Nothing wrong can happen if you try to make it like TabulaRasa's characters neat obliviousness, in my opinion. ^^
vended - 04 February 2017
This look very promising. Got some good little hints here and there, and the first person style is flawless. A very enjoyable read. I wonder how you will be able to adjust it to the AR. Keep enough casual self description so that we're not lost as to were in the AR he is, and don't devolve too much his vocabulary, I would say. ; ]
skywavesage - 03 February 2017
There’s something very raw and visceral about writing in the first person. I haven’t exercised that muscle since my Ask Annie series, so thought I’ll give it a whirl. As the character gets younger, I think this would get harder – it’s can be challenging to “get into the head” of a child. Do let me know how I’m doing as I chug along :D
skywavesage - 03 February 2017
I'll like to express my sincere thanks and appreciation to everyone who helped me with the draft, in particular my friend changelingtimes. Do check out his stories and captions at changelingtimes.deviantart.com



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