A Comedy of AR's

Chapter 40
CHAPTER 140 .......... The Mother of All Motherboards

Chapter Description: 2 new pictures added 11/23/23 Images for this story can be found at the following web...... https://sites.google.com/view/comedy-ars-characters/home

CHAPTER  140

Her small breasts were just perfect for me.  They needn’t be more than a handful.  I don’t understand the world’s obsession with humongous boobs that look like basketballs and have a weight like bowling balls. 

Shilo’s boobs didn’t even feel like latex and were not in any way rubbery.  I’ve felt enough real boobs to appreciate her natural human feel.  It felt so forbidden, so licentious to come up on a girl from behind and feel her up to my own satisfaction … something I would ordinarily be slapped in the face for or arrested otherwise.

She looked in the mirror and mentioned, “Derrek, it looks to me like you are already going ga-ga, and we have barely started.”

“Oh yes … very ga-ga … Your nipples are getting hard, Shilo.  It’s all so real … I salute your creators.”

“Are you ready for my trick now, Derrek?”

“Will I like it?”

“You will be surprised.”

“That’s not the answer I was looking for, Shilo … but go ahead.”

“Okay, Derrek.  I wan’t you to close your eyes for five sconds and don’t peak early”

“Alright, they’re closed … counting … two-a-football, three-a-football, four-a-football, and now they’re open …“AAAAAaaaaaaagggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!”

Shilo was right.  I was surprised.  All I saw were –EYES-- … big eyes.  That’s because she did a ‘Linda Blair’ on me.  I remembered the movie ‘The Exorcist’  where the the little devil girl spun her head around 360 degrees. 

Shilo had done a ‘180’ on me, spinning her head so that our noses touched.  Then she stuck her tongue into my mouth so that I couldn’t talk (or scream) anymore.  Major didn’t burst into the room to see why I screamed.  He either didn’t care or … he knew what she was doing to me.

The young woman lifted her arms backwards (toward and around me, away from the mirror) and grabbed onto the sides of my shirt … and with my hands still stuck in her halter over her boobs, I couldn’t move.  She certainly had a lot of moving parts.

I thought at first that Silo wanted to French kiss me … but that idea faded when she pressed her tongue to the back of my throat … and then started down my esophagus.

My gag reflex kicked in and I thought for a second that I would choke.  But as she passed her elongated tongue farther down my esophagus, my throat relaxed and I was no longer in a panic.

Mentally, I drifted off to the 1979 horror film ‘Alien’ staring Sigourney Weaver … where a crab-like creature hatches from a large egg and attaches itself to the astronaut’s face … before finally inserting an appendage down his throat to deposit a baby alien in his stomach.

I felt Shilo’s tounge feeling its way down my esophagus and eventually entering my stomach.  She pressed her tongue against the sides of my stomach.  Maybe she was tasting the pizza I just ate … or maybe she was depositing a baby android in my stomach which would hatch later.

I had a similar medical procedure once before to check for ulcers called an endoscopy.  It wasn’t pleasant and they numbed my throat.  But now I had to wonder if Major and Shilo were using my body as part of some wild plot to have him and the Shilobots take over the world.

I had to try to find some way to communicate with Shilo.  Since my hands were still holding her nipples, I decided to try Morse Code.  I would engage her with ‘titty-twisters’ (purple nurples)  in the form of three short twists to her left nipple … then three long twists to her right nipple … and finishing with another three short twists to her left nipple.

That spelled ‘S-O-S’, the universal call of distress.

With great hope (and satisfaction), I began to feel her snake-like tongue withdrawing upward.  With a sigh of relief, the ‘thing’ exited my mouth and re-entered hers.

She smiled and told me, “See, Derrek, I told you you would be surprised.  How did you like it?”

I had no answer.  I felt that the ‘normal’ thing to do would be to flee … to get my ass out of there.  But I was the one who wanted to have sex with a robot.  And if I could deal with getting poisoned by Randy and kidnapped by Sally, then surely I could deal with whatever the hell this was … and I hadn’t even gotten to the sex yet.

“Shilo, my surprise was greater that expected.  Do you do that with Major?”

“Oh yes.  It’s a regular part of our foreplay.  He says it tickles.”

“Really?  So you didn’t leave anything in my stomach like in the movie ‘Alien’?”

“No, just just your pizza.  And I never saw Alien.  Should I look it up?”

“Nah, too scary to talk about now … but did you happen to catch my Morse Code?”

“Oh, right away.  That’s one of the things I like about you Derrek.  You’re so clever.  What other human would have known to communicate with a computer using dots and dashes … zeros and ones?”

“This proves you have educated nipples, Shilo.”

“Well, once you gave me the SOS, I figured you were ready to move on to something else … Are you?”

“Yes, Shilo.  I would like to use my favorite illegal pickup line, but could I possibly ask you to politely turn your head around and face the mirror again?   Your ‘Linda Blair’ impression creeps me out.”

Her eyes looked upward for one second.  “Ahh, the crazy little girl who spins her head around.  Derrek, do you always go through life with movie references?  At your house, you were talking about ‘Terminator’ and ‘West World’.”

“Well, ‘West World’‘ was Sammantha’s, and Major came up with ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’.”

“A good lesson for me, Derrek.  Humans like to role play and tell stories.  I think I would like to read every book that has ever been written.”

“That might take a while, Shilo, even for someone like you.”

“True, but if I read ten thousand books a day, I could be done in about 40 years.  That’s a good goal for me, but I think we should fuck first.”

“Yes, let’s fuck.”

“Okay, I’m ready for your favorite illegal pickup line.  But what makes it illegal?”

Shilo turned her head back straight  (I still can’t find a seam) and I removed my hands from her boobs and placed them around her tummy again.  I could feel my blood moving again.  I could never do this in seventh grade, even though I’d love to do it with Madeline.

I looked at us in the mirror and I asked her, “Is it true you have a vagina?”

“I do,” she replied.

“Can I touch it.”

“Sure.”

My right hand wandered south and softly made its way under the top edge of her low riding denim jeans.  Then I explored further, under the band of her panties  (I was glad she wore panties even though technically, she didn’t need to.)

This is interesting, Shilo.  You have your pubic hair shaved into a two-inch wide ‘I’ formation.”

“That’s how Major prefers it, but if you like, I can change it.”

It took only two seconds for Shilo to grow an inch of muff into a full triangular bush.  My fingers now had a lot of hair to ‘comb’ through and lightly pull on.

“Shilo, you are full of surprises.  Now if I go spelunking into your nether region, are there any traps that would jump out and chop off my fingers or burn me?  If my penis visits, would it come out horribly deformed?”

“No, Derrek, there’s nothing dangerous in there for you.  I promised you safe sex.  If you were a villain trying to rape me, I do have some defense mechanisims which were adopted by my creators from a pamphlet they acquired on the internet from two Buffalo women known as the ‘Hooey sisters’.”

That was another surprise.  “I’ve met them, Shilo.  They were obsessed with inflicting pain on penises.”

“Don’t worry, Derrek.  Those mechanisms are shut off, and require three switches to activate, including pressing my right eyeball with my right pinkie.  Go spelunking … you’ll be fine.”

I didn’t need to be asked twice.  I trusted Shilo now, and proceeded to the golden door … but I kept my eye on the mirror.  That view is what made me feel so naughty.  She looked like a girl rather than a 23 year old woman.  I was very invasive.  That’s what made the spelunking so exciting for me.

And she was so smooth.  I curled my middle finger and could feel the ‘squishiness’ of the entrance.  All was so human-like … and I’ve felt my share of humans.  A little deeper in, and further up, I found what I was looking for … the magic button … her clitoris.

I rubbed the knob with my middle finger, wondering if an AI clit would react any differently than a human one. 

“WWWhhhhhaaaaattttt?!!”   Something didn’t feel right.  “Shilo, what’s going on?”

“You tell me, Derrek.”

“Shilo, it feels like your clitoris is sucking and licking my finger!  It feels like your clit is giving my finger a little tiny blow job!  That is so weird!”

“And it will do the same to the tip of your penis, once you get it in there … but there’s no rush.”

“I feel like I’m Willie Wonka in the sex factory.  What other surprises do you have in store?”

“I can’t tell you, Derrek.  You’ll have to discover them on your own.  Oh, and by the way, you came here for sex, and yet both of us still have our clothes on.”

I asked into the mirror, “Shilo, can you give me a spanking?  I’ve been naughty.”

“Derrek, that sure sounds like a line you’ve used in the past when you and Sammantha were engaging in rough sex.”

“So can you … but not too hard?”

“Let me get this straight, Derrek.  You want me to beat a child?  Couldn’t I get arrested?”

“There are no laws yet for AI’s.  No one’s going to arrest a robot.  And technically, I’m not a child.  I may appear as twelve, but I’m actually 28.  So you’re in the clear.”

“But not too hard?  Derrek, by exactly how many Newtons of force do you wish your buttocks to be struck?  You know that Force equals Mass times Acceleration.

We were clearly not on the same page.  “Geez, Shilo, I just want you to make me cry real tears, but not have to go to a hospital.  You don’t need to make a federal case out of it.”

“And do you have a ‘safe’ word, Derrek?”

“Yeah, so if I say ‘Please stop, you’re hurting me’ or ‘I’m really serious, it hurts’ or ‘No more, let me go, it’s too painful’, then you ignore me.  But if say the safe word ‘break’, then you stop.”

Shilo nodded.  “Got it.  So to determine the impact on your butt, we take the third derivative of x(t), where the first derivative gives velocity, the second derivative gives acceleration, and the third derivative gives us the change in acceleration … which when multiplied by ‘m’, gives us the change in force … which is Newtons.”

“So Shilo, is there a Newton number somewhere between ‘A … I can hardly feel it’ and ‘B … It’s tearing my flesh off’?”

“Certainly, the contact time of my hand on your buttock is calculated as  I=2s(ka/m).  From there, we can conclude that Pain ‘P’ is proportional to the impact per unit area … or simply stated, Pain ‘P’ = 2sk/m.  You know, Derrek, I think Major should teach this in your math class.”

With a hint of sarcasm, I agreed whole-heartedly.  “That’s a great idea, Shilo.  The kids in my first period class loved you and would welcome you to return in person.  Every seventh grade student should be put over your knee and spanked as part of the standard mathematics curriculum.”

Shilo smiled her innocent smile.  “I’d love that, Derrek … Let’s tell Major after we fuck.”