Regression Therapy

Chapter Description: With Emily struggling to come to grips with the situation Amelia, unknowingly, hits quite the nerve.

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Aside from Emily, the crib was empty of anything other than a pillow and a blanket. There was nothing to distract her and she had always been a person who was quick to grow restless. The mushy underwear was not helping her sit still either. She started second-guessing herself. Maybe Amelia wasn’t going to come unless she was called, maybe that’s what her wife was waiting for. Emily bit her lip as she kneeled and leant against the bars.

“Amelia?” Emily called out.

There was no answer. The bedroom door was closed so it was unlikely her voice was carrying very far. This felt worse than being in prison, at least there she would have someone to talk to or distractions to take her mind off her confinement. She’d like to think she wouldn’t be in a messy diaper as well but judging from her control that many well have happened anyway.

“Amelia!” Emily shouted a little louder.

Still nothing. Emily grumbled in frustration. She hated that this “time out” was giving her lots of time to think. It had only been a few short weeks since everything had been perfect. Emily had been able to relax on the couch all day watching TV and playing games, she’d had Amelia wrapped around her little finger, and life was perfect. How had it gone from that to kneeling in a very dirty diaper in a crib in such a short amount of time?

“AMELIA!” Emily screamed at the top of her lungs.

There was no way Emily couldn’t be heard now. She wouldn’t have been surprised if the neighbours could hear her. She watched the door and waited. Still nothing. Emily started to wonder if Amelia was even home, it was possible she had gone out and left Emily trapped in place. Alternatives started going through Emily’s mind, she thought about trying to climb over the side of the railings and felt like she could probably manage it but if she was found out of her bed, she was wary of what Amelia would do. More than anything she wanted to change her diaper. Almost as if teasing her Amelia had left an extra spare disposable in the crib.

Emily eventually laid back down and stared up at the ceiling. Whether Amelia was home or not, all she could do was wait. And wait. And wait some more.

When the door finally did open it made Emily jump. She had been zoned out and lost in her own head when she was suddenly brought back to reality. She sat up and saw Amelia walking in, a rush of thankfulness flooded through her, she was more than ready for a change.

“Goodness me, it smells in here.” Amelia said as she waved her hand in front of her face, “Have you left a little present for me in your diaper?”

Emily balled up her fists. She was so embarrassed that she didn’t respond. After everything that had happened, she didn’t need her wife talking to her as if she was a useless baby as well. Granted she didn’t have much to counter the argument at that moment. She didn’t care right then, she just wanted to get her diaper changed.

“Are you ready to be a good girl?” Amelia asked.

“Yes.” Emily hissed through gritted teeth.

“Good.” Amelia smiled as she stepped on the release, “Then you can put the changing table back together and MAYBE I’ll change you.”

“Can’t you just change me first?” Emily whined, “This is really… uncomfortable.”

“Come on.” Amelia perched on the edge of the barred bed, “I’ll supervise to make sure you don’t hurt yourself.”

Emily let out a deep sigh but bit back the anger that was bubbling up inside her. The last thing she wanted was to go back in the bed so she turned to the changing table that she had tipped over earlier. It looked like a lot of work but if she wanted to get out of the stinky diaper, she would just have to get on with it.

Any hope Emily had of not making a complete mess of her diaper area was ruined by the hard work she now had to do. She lifted the changing table back up and then had to get on her hands and knees to collect all the things that had fallen off the shelves. By the time she was done she was sweating slightly, she wasn’t used to any kind of work. As soon as she was done, she turned to Amelia hopefully.

“And what have you learnt?” Amelia asked as she stood up.

“Come on…” Emily tossed her head back, “You know I’m sorry, just change me!”

“Not until I know you’ve learnt your lesson.” Amelia stated as she folded her arms across her chest.

“I’m not a little baby that you need to discipline like this!” Emily complained.

“Alright, you had your chance.” Amelia shook her head.

“W-Wait!” Emily suddenly regretted not just showing the contrition her wife demanded.

Amelia walked over and took Emily’s hand to lead her from the bedroom. Emily kept apologising for everything she could think of but Amelia didn’t stop, she practically dragged Emily downstairs and into the living room where there was another revelation waiting for her.

“Oh no…” Emily hid her face in her hands, “No, no, no…”

The couch that Emily so loved to laze on had been moved all the way to the back of the room leaving a big empty space in the middle. That space had been filled by a large playpen. A black metal frame that had black felt running all around it. Inside there was a pillow, blankets, and some toys as well as a pink tablet.

“Now I can always make sure you stay where you’re supposed to be.” Amelia said, “Now, I know what you’re thinking. The sides of this pen aren’t very tall and you could step right over them, right?”

It was true. Emily had spotted that weakness right away. All she’d have to do was lift her leg a little higher than usual and she would be able to get right over the side.

“Well, whilst you COULD do that, I don’t think you will.” Amelia continued, “Because good girls do as they’re told and get rewards whilst bad girls break the rules and get punished. You’ll stay in your playpen until I tell you otherwise.”

“Amelia, this is too much…” Emily felt like she might burst into tears, “Y-You can’t do all this. I’m an adult!”

“Aw, it’s OK, baby.” Amelia leaned forwards and hugged Emily. One of her hands went down and squeezed the bulge in the back of her diaper, “This is all for the best.”

“How?” Emily sniffed as a tear ran down her cheek.

“Get in the playpen and I’ll tell you.” Amelia suggested.

Emily didn’t want to. She didn’t want to exchange one cage upstairs for another one downstairs. She just wanted things to go back to normal. Was that so much to ask?

With a sniff Emily awkwardly clambered over the side of the playpen and then nearly fell to the canvas floor. It felt almost like being in an upside-down tent. Amelia was smiling again. Emily looked around sadly before waiting for Amelia to tell her why this was all happening.

“Sit down.” Amelia said.

Emily lowered herself and sat cross-legged on the floor. The mess in her diaper already felt like it had got everywhere so it seemed to make little difference to sit in it and spread it more. She looked up at her wife who was leaning on the edge of the pen and looking in. Emily felt like a small animal in a cage looking out at its owner.

“The truth is…” Amelia started and then hesitated, “You’ve been more of a burden than a wife for a long time.”

Emily froze. It was the word. The word she feared more than any other. The box in her brain that contained it started vibrating and then it burst open. Emily felt her brain empty of any other thought until all she could hear was “burden” bouncing around her mind, repeating infinitely until it became deafening. Her eyes filled with tears and she could feel herself trembling.

It felt like knives were stabbing into Emily’s heart. To hear such harsh words from her wife, the woman she still loved completely despite everything, hurt more than any physical pain. There was guilt as well, just a tiny amount of it but enough for Emily to recognise its presence. She had taken Amelia for granted, worse, she had basically acted as if Amelia was her servant who only existed to serve her needs. Emily had done that because she thought she’d been getting away with it, that Amelia was happy to go along as things were. She had completely ignored her wife’s feelings for her own selfish laziness.

“That isn’t to say I don’t love you.” Amelia continued, “I do. Just as much as the day we got married, in fact. That’s why I’m doing this. Everything I’ve done is because I care.”

“But I don’t want any of it!” Emily sobbed.

“I know.” Amelia smiled sympathetically and nodded her head, “But this is how it has to be.”

Amelia turned and started to walk away.

“Wait!” Emily scooted forwards on her knees until she was against the side of the playpen, “I need a change!”

Amelia carried on out of the room. It turned out she wasn’t gone for long though; she had soon returned with a couple of sippy cups filled with her breast milk. She didn’t stay to answer any questions though. Emily was getting very uncomfortable in her messy diaper and yet she still had no idea when a change was coming.

Alone in the living room Emily didn’t know what to do. She didn’t have access to the television or her video game console, which made her anxious, those two things were how she took up a majority of her time and now they were cut off from her. The only things she had access to were the items in the playpen, most of which were baby toys that held no interest for her. As Amelia walked past the doorway a little later Emily called out to her again.

Burden. Burden. Burden. Emily couldn’t stop hearing those words. She tried to block them out, to shove them back into the box from whence they had burst out but it was too late. The word was free and it wasn’t going to be locked up. She’d heard that word once before, in her childhood, and it had felt like it had broken her. She shook her head, desperately trying to swallow back the sobs and not cry.

“Why did you get all these… toys?” Emily asked as she looked around.

“You spend so much time looking at screens I thought you should have something tactile.” Amelia replied as if it was a fairly normal thing, “And what with everything else going on, these toys seemed the most appropriate.”

“But…” Emily knew she was beaten before she said a word.

“Be a good girl and you’ll get a change soon, OK?” Amelia interrupted.

What could Emily say? If she kicked up a fuss she would end up in more trouble and maybe even another diaper over the two she was already wearing. She couldn’t risk more punishment. All Emily could do was accept the situation and hope a change wasn’t long in coming because she smelled awful and felt maddeningly uncomfortable.

Amelia left the room and Emily was alone again. She couldn’t help but notice how her wife’s vocabulary was changing. She was referring to Emily as a “good girl” or “bad girl” increasingly often. It seemed that the changes were gathering momentum, no matter what justifications were used it seemed like everything that happened was designed to make Emily feel less like an adult. The alterations to her daily life had been slow enough to not really pay too much attention to but when she stepped back and thought about everything, she could see just how bad things had got. What was most notable to her was how impossible it felt to reverse things. Originally, the diapers had been a reaction to her having accidents and it felt like if she could just stop the accidents everything would go back to normal. The diapers were only a part of a much larger issue now.

Burden. Burden. Burden. Emily needed to distract herself before she lost her mind completely.

Not wanting to think about her situation too deeply, Emily looked around for something to occupy her attention. She settled on the tablet which, without access to her video games or the television, was by far the most attractive option. She turned it on and went straight to the internet. Once it loaded up, she tried to visit a social media website only to be stopped by a big red exclamation mark.

“Blocked?” Emily frowned.

Emily went to the search bar at the top and tried something else only to find that was blocked as well. She was just about to call for Amelia to help her when she looked at the small print at the bottom of the page.

“Denied access.” Emily read aloud, “Reason: Parental Controls set to “Strict.””

Emily couldn’t believe it. Amelia had given her one electronic device and then stopped her doing anything she wanted to do on it. Emily frantically tried to search other websites she liked but found most of them were inaccessible. Even when she went to her favourite sites to watch videos, she found herself limited to just the children’s sections.

Burden. Burden. Burden.

Emily dropped the tablet and put her head in her hands. She really wasn’t going to be allowed to forget where she was and what her situation had become. After looking around at the other toys, some of which were similar to what she had seen in Catherine’s office, Emily went back to the tablet. Her options may have been severely limited but at least she might be able to find something vaguely worth looking at on the electronic device.

It was a frustrating search to find videos that weren’t mind-numbingly dull. Eventually Emily stumbled on to a few episodes of a children’s show that she had seen some adults liking. It was something to do with a family of cartoon dogs going about their everyday lives. Not knowing what else to do Emily decided to watch some episodes and see what it was all about.

An hour later, Emily was surprised that the show she had been watching hadn’t been totally awful. Sure, it was basic and meant for a young audience but there had been a couple of moments and jokes that she had found genuinely funny. Most of all though, she was just glad that it could distract her, even just a little bit, from the state of her diaper. However, when each episode ended Emily was left with one thing to think about.

The word “burden” kept running through her mind. She hated that Amelia had said that. She didn’t want to be a burden on her. Just thinking about how that was what Amelia thought of her made her want to cry. She quickly tapped on the screen to start a new episode of the cartoon before she burst into tears.

At some point Emily shifted position to lay on her front. The heavy rear of her diaper pressed against her butt, she barely even noticed anymore. She continued forcing herself to be distracted by the cartoon until she felt a hand pressing on her mushy rear.

“I think it’s time we changed this.” Amelia said, “Before the neighbours complain about the smell.”

Emily didn’t need to be told twice. She paused her video and quickly climbed to her feet. She practically ran upstairs with Amelia following her and was on the changing table before Amelia was even in the nursery.

“What’s the matter?” Amelia asked as she untaped the diaper.

“Nothing.” Emily replied. That was a lie. She was feeling deeply upset from the “burden” comment still.

“Well, I’m sure a fresh diaper will help you feel better.” Amelia said brightly, “Then you can go to bed all nice and clean.”

As predicted, the diaper was a disaster. Emily didn’t want to look down but she saw as the messy diaper was taken away that her poop had ended up everywhere. She would’ve cared more if the feeling of clean skin didn’t feel so good after the hours of dirtiness.

“I better put some cream on you.” Amelia said, “We don’t want you getting a rash and this skin looks pretty angry.”

Emily bit back on the comment “whose fault is that?” since she didn’t need to give Amelia another reason to punish her. Once she was freshly padded, she slipped off the table. It was a warm night so no pyjamas were necessary. Emily climbed into the crib and heard the bars get raised behind her.

“Do you have to put those up?” Emily asked, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“It’s best you get used to them.” Amelia smiled. She reached through the bars and cupped the side of Emily’s face.

Emily knew there was no reason and just turned away to face the wall before lying down. She heard Amelia linger for a few more seconds before she turned and left the room turning the light off on the way. Emily sighed and pulled her blanket against herself to hug. As she closed her eyes and let sleep take her, she felt a single tear roll down her face.

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