What Emma Wants

Chapter Description: In the final run up to prom, just what is going to happen to Emma? (Slightly shorter update here just because it is a natural stopping point before heading into the final act.)

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What happened after that was somewhat of a blur. It was Ollie who answered the door and after the shock of seeing me in such a state wore off, he finally stepped aside to let us in. I could see him smirking at me as I passed, clearly he enjoyed seeing me put in my place. I did what Jacob suggested. I hurried upstairs as Ollie led Jacob into the living room.

I don’t know what exactly was said. I knew it was roughly half an hour before I heard the front door opening and closing again. Then mom was in my room shortly after, she didn’t say anything as she changed me. I had no idea if it was a good sign or not.

It was only at school the next day that I got a rundown of the aftermath. My parents were very surprised to find out I had been on a date, I had lied to them about where I was going, but Dad’s initial anger quickly faded. Jacob said he seemed happy that I was getting on so well with Liam. Obviously, the incident in the car wasn’t talked about. I was lucky my parents usually had the television quite loud; it meant that despite half the street being nosy and seeing what was happening, my family wasn’t among them. Jacob had lied and said he was walking me home when I had leaked, he took the blame for that one.

When I had walked into school that morning, having been given a lift by Dad who decided to lecture me on how important it was that I found myself a husband and not so subtly saying Liam was a fine choice, I found Zoe and Nicole talking. I assumed it was about me as they both stopped as I approached.

“Hi.” They both chorused.

“Hey.” I replied, “Nice to see you, Nicole.”

“Thanks. I’m not back for long. Just waiting for Mr. Smith to sign my transfer slip.” Nicole said.

“Oh, you’re going off to the boys’ classes then?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Nicole smiled. She was unable to hide her pride even though she knew it would wound me, “I’m going to have to drop back a couple of grades to get me up to speed but it’ll be worth it.”

“That’s great.” I smiled and gave her a quick hug, “I’m happy for you.”

It was awkward. I genuinely was happy for Nicole, I really was. But my intense jealousy of what she was getting couldn’t be entirely forgotten. I knew I had the intelligence to transfer along with her. It was just my coordination that lagged so far behind even the other girls in my class. I had run out of time to develop and mature my motor skills. A future as a housewife for Liam was getting closer and closer.

Speaking of Liam, he seemed almost normal, which was scarier than if he’d been ranting and raving. Not much changed in how he interacted with me. I did notice that I never saw him alone. Jacob was always around, much to Zoe’s annoyance. She kept trying to get alone time with Jacob, but he always found excuses against it. I got the distinct impression that he was making sure Liam acted properly towards me, whenever I glanced his way, I saw he was watching our interactions like a hawk.

It was weird. Prom was now less than a week away but there seemed to be more tension between the four of us than ever. I tried to avoid everyone as much as possible. Hiding in the library when I could and, when I was found there, behind various buildings. Anywhere that got me away from people as my panic grew. The closer to prom we got, the more reality seemed to weigh down on me. Dad had made it clear that if Liam invited me into any kind of long-term relationship, I was to accept.

“And what if I don’t?” I asked.

“Don’t bother coming back here.” Dad replied.

It hadn’t been an empty threat. There was a very real chance I could end up on the street and the prospects for a young woman on the street were not good.

In those last few days before Prom, I had butterflies in my stomach near constantly, which was doing nothing good for my control. I was going through more diapers than ever, constantly having to visit the nurses for changes to the point they started thinking I was up to something. I wasn’t helped by Zoe who seemed to spend every waking second talking about the Prom and how important and exciting it was. It got to the point where it took all my self-control to not snap at her.

I dreaded each approaching day. As the prom got closer, and preparations started to be made, I considered running away. Where I would go, I had no idea. I already knew that women who were unattached and with nowhere to go didn’t usually end up in good places, but I was desperate.

When the day of the Prom finally rolled around, I woke up feeling like a condemned woman. I laid in my crib, eyes open, and staring at the ceiling. My desperate want and need to have some independence seemed to be hanging by a thread and Liam was standing, his smirk warping his face, with a pair of scissors, ready to sever the last link with the life I wanted.

I was saturated to the point of leaking when mom came in to get me up. I had expected her to be in a good mood, she’d been talking about the Prom as much as anyone, talking up how important it was as if it hadn’t been made abundantly clear to me. But when she released the side of the crib and it came rattling down, I saw she seemed somewhat apprehensive, maybe even sad. She stood aside as I slid out of my baby bed and landed on the floor, my poor coordination making me stumble a couple of steps as my diaper hung low between my legs.

“I can’t believe I might not be doing this for you much longer.” Mom said as she opened my diaper.

I remained silent. I had managed to avoid Liam changing me thus far, but it was going to happen sooner or later. There was even a chance this would be the last change my parents gave me. They certainly expected Liam to take over duties, I wondered if that meant that I wouldn’t be coming home again.

Mom went through the process of changing me in the same way she always did. But when the new diaper was slipped underneath my butt, she went to lift the front but hesitated. I saw her looking down at the diaper, fiddling with the edges and looking conflicted. The expression looked strange on mom’s face when I was so used to her obedience to dad. She looked towards the door to the nursery, making sure it was closed.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” Mom said in a voice that was little more than a whisper.

“You’re… what?” I frowned. The only people I’d ever heard mom apologise too before were the men in the family. I pushed myself up on my elbows and saw that mom’s eyes were shimmering.

“I… I know how much you wanted to be a big girl.” Mom continued. Her voice remained low, she was frightened of being overheard, “I know you don’t want any of this. I’m sorry.”

I didn’t know what to say. Since finding out about my date with Liam, mom had been nothing but enthusiastic, ignoring what I wanted and pushing me to get a nice dress, make-up and everything else. She’d talked of little else in the last few days. Now she was stood at the foot of the changing table, in a long and flowing blue and white dress inappropriate for the time of morning, looking like she was sending her daughter off to prison.

Mom was still fiddling with the waistband of the diaper as I stared with my mouth hanging open. I had never seen this side of mom, the exaggerated smiles for my dad dropped and full sincerity on display.

“It’s not so bad.” Mom said as she tried to recover her smile. It didn’t work, “You get used to it.”

“I don’t want to get used to it.” I replied, “I don’t like Liam.”

“That’s not always an impossible hurdle. Look at me and your father.” Mom said. Her eyes suddenly widened like she realised she had said something she shouldn’t have. I saw her nervously fiddling with the pacifier hanging from the front of her dress, like she needed to shove it in her mouth before she said anything else negative about Dad.

“It’s alright.” I said as I reached down and touched mom’s hand, “I’m not going to tell anyone.”

Mom still didn’t look like she knew if it would be safe to say more. She looked at the door again and I wondered if she though Dad or Ollie might be on the other side with a glass to it, eavesdropping on everything. It was the sort of paranoia that wasn’t entirely unjustified in her life.

“I’m just sorry things haven’t gone how you would’ve preferred.” Mom said, “I don’t think your future with Liam will be bad, but I know it isn’t what you wanted. And more than anything I wanted you to be happy.”

Mom finally finished changing my diaper. I was quite stunned. I’d never seen mom be so candid with me. It felt like, for once, her guard had come down and she wasn’t putting on an act. In that moment I could see that the act was as much for her own sake as anyone else. I unexpectedly found myself with tears running out the corners of my eyes that I wiped away. It6 was maybe the first time I had actually got to see who my mother really was.

Mom dressed me in a basic onesie before we went down for breakfast. I had to endure many barbs from Ollie and my Dad talking animatedly about the wedding they all seemed sure would follow Prom, but my attention kept wondering back to mom who was as quiet as usual, but the smile she usually forced on her face was missing.

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